Alicia—thank you so much for this reflection. Yes. “Nice” really is a pity adjective, and I felt that shudder too reading your story. What you shared about modifying yourself to be more palatable hit hard—that’s exactly it. We learn to equate likeability with survival, and the cost is ourselves.
Wow, I am so impressed by your awareness of yourself. Just that—in and of itself—just seeing that you’ve been too nice is how true change starts to happen. And now that you’ve seen it… there’s no un-seeing it. So no matter what, you are heading into a season of being much more Alicia.
And you are so blessed to have a NOT NICE husband. Truly. Just living around him will help you unlearn the pattern faster too—osmosis is real 😄
I love what you said about him giving zero fucks about being liked, but caring deeply about doing right by others. That distinction between being kind vs being nice is everything. Kindness is rooted. Nice-ness is often repression with a smile.
And yes—the anger we feel isn’t a failure of character. It’s a sign that we’re finally hearing the part of us that refused to go numb.
Thank you for adding such truth to this conversation. You’re not alone in the unlearning ❤️
Loved it! These words actually helped me a lot with my own line of overthinking 🙏
Alicia—thank you so much for this reflection. Yes. “Nice” really is a pity adjective, and I felt that shudder too reading your story. What you shared about modifying yourself to be more palatable hit hard—that’s exactly it. We learn to equate likeability with survival, and the cost is ourselves.
Wow, I am so impressed by your awareness of yourself. Just that—in and of itself—just seeing that you’ve been too nice is how true change starts to happen. And now that you’ve seen it… there’s no un-seeing it. So no matter what, you are heading into a season of being much more Alicia.
And you are so blessed to have a NOT NICE husband. Truly. Just living around him will help you unlearn the pattern faster too—osmosis is real 😄
I love what you said about him giving zero fucks about being liked, but caring deeply about doing right by others. That distinction between being kind vs being nice is everything. Kindness is rooted. Nice-ness is often repression with a smile.
And yes—the anger we feel isn’t a failure of character. It’s a sign that we’re finally hearing the part of us that refused to go numb.
Thank you for adding such truth to this conversation. You’re not alone in the unlearning ❤️