Your calendar is making you old
trust your pulse instead
When was the last time you trusted yourself enough to move through the day moment by moment?
Not with a color‑coded calendar screaming at you.
Not with a to‑do list you have to conquer before you’re “allowed” to rest.
Not with the robotic discipline script society loves to sell.
I mean—really—when was the last time you woke up and let your day unfold from the most powerful scheduler you have: your own body’s inclination in the moment?
To ask and listen carefully and with nuance:
What do I actually want to do next?
And then let because I want to be the only reason you need.
That’s it. That’s the aliveness. That’s the magic. And oh my god—it’s amazing!
Why do you want to wake up at 7 AM today, skip your workout with GUSTO, and sit on the patio for five hours, coffee in hand, doing nothing but looking out at the garden or the street??
“Because I freaking want to.”
You don’t need a “suitable,” “goody‑two‑shoes” reason.
You don’t need a justification for yourself — much less to anyone else.
Your body will tell you, point blank… all you have to do is follow it.
We’re carrying around a hundred thousand pounds of “shoulds.”
I should be disciplined.
I should do these items today.
I should be eating this at this time. I should be going outside. I should be exercising. I should be ticking boxes.
We live as if—unless we do all that—we’re not justified in being here. We’re not justified in resting. We’re not justified in slowing down. We’re not justified in pacing our energy.
We think we have to be the grandest human robot of all time, proving that yes, we are being “productive.” But productive for who? For other people, of course.
Because tell me the truth: if it were really up to the real you, would you be doing that right now at that exact time? Probably not.
If it feels heavy and dragging, it’s not yours to carry. It’s not meant to be part of your human substance.
What’s truly yours feels light, breezy, skipping along the path, delicious.
What’s not yours feels suffocating, punishing, like a never‑ending must.
And there is no single thing more detrimental to building any kind of real rhythm—any so‑called “habit”—than living under that crushing weight of shoulds.
People push back on this:
“But if I just follow what I want, I’ll end up at the bar, numbing out, binging, doing nothing.”
No. That urge only shows up because you’ve been living a life premeditated by everyone else.
You numb out because you’re exhausted from dragging a life that isn’t yours.
When you actually peel that weight off and ask yourself what you want—the real answer that rises is different. It’s alive. It builds momentum. It nourishes instead of numbs.
And discipline? Let’s be blunt.
Discipline is the sacred cow. Be disciplined, be disciplined, be disciplined.
But here’s the paradox: the more you chase discipline, the less disciplined you’ll be.
Because chasing it turns you into a robot. It cuts you off from your real scheduler: that moment‑to‑moment pull inside you.
What do I want to do next? What do I feel like doing next?
That’s the real engine.
And yes—it’s amazing. It’s so, so amazing when you let yourself live like that.
Suddenly the day opens. Suddenly you get more done than ever. Suddenly you feel alive again instead of dragging yourself through obligation.
You DON’T have to suffer to have a delicious and amazing life — this is one of the most destructive hidden beliefs out there. So destructive that it becomes a self‑fulfilling prophecy.
Not only that, THIS CREATES A “GETTING OLD FAST” PHYSIOLOGY. This self‑fulfilling prophecy will literally destroy your pristine biochemical environment with all kinds of biological traffic jams — too much cortisol, detrimental genes turning on.
Your body ages really, really fast in every medical way you can think of.
I know this because I’ve lived it.
In my own work life—whether it was inside a 9‑to‑5 or building my own business—this has always been my secret. I didn’t grind like everyone else. I flowed. I let one task build into the next. And the momentum carried me. I got so much done—so much, and done well—that people thought I was doing something magical.
But I wasn’t. I was just in coherence with myself. Not dragging the hundred thousand pounds. Just following the lightness, the next true pull.
And now I see the same thing with my clients.
I have clients who used to feel broken because they “lacked discipline.” They’d say:
I can’t be consistent. I should eat at this time. I should move like this. I should do more. I should be better. I should go to every social event. I should stay in this marriage because of the kids and give up my livelihood forever.
Drowning in shoulds.
The body does not do well with shoulds. It dies a very slow and painful death of fast‑diminishing vitality. This is what people call “getting old”—because it starts with the shoulds and ends with the dirtiest biochemical environment and body architecture one will ever witness.
I have seen this happen over and over again with clients and with myself: when the shift into the “Because I want to” mode of living happens—and asking oneself with respect, What do I truly want to do next?—everything changes. Baffling progress.
This requires a big, fat burst of courage. Because what if your body says: Right now I just want to sit on the couch all day. Are you going to sit there in shame (which is just another form of shoulding)? Or are you going to own it and relax into it and let your body blossom into a healthier path of vitality?
Stop dragging around what isn’t yours.
Stop outsourcing your rhythm to someone else’s version of productivity.
Stop believing you need to prove your existence with a checklist.
You already have the most brilliant scheduler inside you.
Your only job is to listen.
So right now, in this exact moment, ask yourself:
What do I want to do next?
Then follow it.
Feel how good it is to let that be enough.
Not just enough—it’s everything.
And it’s amazing. Truly, breathtakingly amazing.
This piece originally appeared on Substack.
It is available for reprint or syndication. To request rights or republish, contact helena@bianchivibranthealth.com.